Today let’s talk about loneliness – the feeling of being alone whether you’re in a crowd or whether you’re just by yourself.
It’s quite common, especially now with the lockdown, then social isolation, and social distancing rules. It’s easy to fall into it.
There’s a difference between alone and being lonely. If you’re alone you’re fairly content with your own company. But if you’re lonely you feel like something is missing. You may feel isolated in yourself.
You may feel sad but you don’t know why. You life might be, to all appearances, going splendidly, but in your heart you feel like something’s missing and you don’t know how to find it.
Sometimes we might try to fill that hole in many ways. Some of those could show up as symptoms like sadness or boredom apathy, or an unidentified feeling of anxiousness or too much sleeping.
Or on the other hand – being over excited — which could look like too much shopping or drinking and so on, to fill up the emptiness.
Sometimes the feeling of loneliness can turn us against our own selves. We think that we’re not good enough. We make up imaginary flaws and faults, or exaggerate incidents from our past or current life that could be the cause of our loneliness.
So we’ve got to get ourselves out of this mess. Extreme loneliness is not healthy for us mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally.
Here are a few ideas that came to me to alleviate these kind of feelings which drag your spirit down.
But the first major thing I must say is, if you are really feeling so lonely that you almost feel sick, it might be best to seek help from a trained professional who can talk with you and help you work through your feelings.
But if the feeling of loneliness is something that comes and goes, there might be a few self-directed things that you can do.
Here are 6 handy tips for trying to overcome loneliness and coping with it.
One is to visit the seaside. Yes you might still be alone but there are most likely people about.
But the main point is that you can sense the openness and expansiveness of the sea.
And you know that you are one with that sea. You are one with all that surrounds you and basically you may be alone but virtually you are one with the sea, with the sky, with plants, with nature. You’re not alone.
Being out in the open air can help us clear our minds and feel better.
I think we could experience the same feeling of belonging by going to the park or some nature area. And just walking and experiencing the beauty of the trees and the changing of the Seasons, and the feel of the air on our face. This kind of activity gets us out of ourselves because we’re experiencing the atmosphere around us, and this can lift or spirits and make us feel quite good.
What else can we do ? We can ask ourselves why do we feel lonely. We can grab a paper and pen or use an electronic device and write out why do we feel lonely. What will it take to make us feel not so lonely.
Is it because we want companionship?
Is it because we think our peers are doing way better than we are, so we feel like we have fallen behind and we just feel lonely because we think we’re the only ones in that situation?
Once you’ve identified it as best you can, try to come up with what is the opposite action that will make us feel fulfilled and lifted and then do and work towards that action to the best of our abilities.
Just taking a constructive action could lift our spirits, take us out of ourselves, and into the energy, into the positive Energy, of what it is that we really want in order to feel better about ourselves.
Another thing that we could do to alleviate the feeling of loneliness is get into social media in a positive way. And look for and find people & groups with like interests. And don’t be just a lurker, but get involved in the discussions. And find those groups that keep things positive and uplifting, so that it’s fun to join in.
The 5th suggestion is to take online courses.
Right now it’s a bit difficult to go to an actual course in person because of the current social distancing situation but online study can be fun and useful as well.
You learn something new and your mind shifts again, away from the feeling of ‘only me’, as you get into the thing that you are studying & the new things that you are learning, & the challenge of learning it well.
It’s like you are distracting yourself in a fun way and learning something in the bargain. And if it’s a course that has discussion groups that accompany the lessons, that can be a way to meet new people as well.
And the last idea. number 6…
There are also Meet Up groups that you can join. Meet Up is an app and a website where there are various groups that cover many different interests. Groups for socialising, groups for learning new things, groups for discussing business, learning languages, health, spirituality
… all kinds of groups.
If you get involved in a Meetup Group, that’s another way to get out – digitally at this point in time – and meet other people and exchange ideas and expand your horizons, and have a bit of fun.
I hope these few ideas can at least get you started on the journey out a lonely existence. I’ve been there in the past, it’s not good to hang around there too long.
Do you have any tips on how you shake off that feeling of emptiness or lonlines?
Or maybe you embrace it. Let’s share. Feel free to leave a comment on how you deal with loneliness.